Look, I’m going to level with you here. Building a killer snack platter isn’t rocket science, but you’d be surprised how many people stuff it up. I’ve been to enough parties where someone’s thrown some Jatz on a plate with a block of Coon and called it a day. That’s not a platter, mate. That’s a cry for help.

A proper snack platter is an art form, and like any art form, it requires a bit of thought, a dash of creativity, and just enough effort to make it look like you didn’t try too hard. You want your guests walking in, seeing your spread, and thinking “bloody hell, this looks good” before they’ve even grabbed a drink.

Let me show you how it’s done.

The Philosophy Behind a Decent Platter

Before we dive into the nuts and bolts (literally, in some cases), let’s talk about what makes a platter actually work. It’s not just about chucking expensive stuff on a board and hoping for the best. I’ve seen people blow a hundred bucks on fancy cheese that nobody touches because it tastes like someone’s socks.

The magic happens when you’ve got balance. You need salty, sweet, crunchy, creamy, familiar, and just weird enough to be interesting. Think of it like a good mixtape from the ’90s. You don’t want all ballads and you don’t want all bangers. You want variety that keeps people coming back.

And here’s the thing nobody tells you: presentation matters almost as much as what’s on the board. A mediocre selection arranged beautifully will outperform premium ingredients just dumped on a plate. Every. Single. Time.

Choosing Your Canvas

Right, first things first. What are you putting all this stuff on? This matters more than you think.

I’m a sucker for a good wooden board. There’s something about timber that just screams “I know what I’m doing” without being wanky about it. You can pick up a decent one from any homeware shop, or if you’re handy, make your own. My mate Dave made one out of recycled floorboards and honestly, it’s a conversation starter every time.

Slate’s another good option if you’re going for that modern vibe. Looks sharp, photographs well (because let’s be honest, someone’s putting this on Instagram), and you can write on it with chalk if you’re feeling fancy.

Whatever you choose, go bigger than you think you need. A platter with a bit of breathing room looks deliberate. A crowded one just looks like you ran out of space halfway through and started panic-stacking cheese.

The Building Blocks

Let’s talk about what actually goes on this thing. I’m going to break it down into categories because that’s how my brain works, and it’ll stop you from ending up with seventeen types of cheese and no crackers.

The Protein Situation

You need something substantial here. Sliced salami is your friend. So is prosciutto, especially if you fold it into little roses (which is easier than it sounds and makes you look like a culinary genius). Chuck in some kabana if you’re feeling nostalgic for primary school lunches.

For the non-meat eaters in your life, and there’s always a few these days, marinated tofu works surprisingly well. So do those little bocconcini balls. And never, ever underestimate a good devilled egg. They’re retro, they’re delicious, and they disappear faster than free beer at a wedding.

Cheese, Glorious Cheese

This is where people either nail it or completely overthink things. You don’t need a cheese PhD to pull this off. You just need variety.

Grab a creamy one like brie or camembert. Something sharp like a vintage cheddar. Maybe a blue if your crowd’s adventurous (and if they’re not, more for you). Feta’s good for crumbling over things, and it plays well with olives and tomatoes.

Here’s a pro tip that’ll change your life: take the cheese out of the fridge a good hour before people arrive. Cold cheese tastes like cardboard. Room temperature cheese tastes like what cheese is supposed to taste like. This is non-negotiable.

The Vehicle Department

You need something to pile all this good stuff onto, and that’s where crackers come in. Water crackers are the workhorses here. Plain, simple, get the job done. But don’t stop there.

Grab some seeded ones for texture. Rice crackers for your gluten-free mates who are sick of missing out on everything good. And if you really want to impress, get a fresh baguette, slice it up, and give it a quick toast. Game changer.

The Fresh Stuff That Makes It Pop

This is the difference between a platter that looks good and one that makes people actually say “wow” out loud.

Cherry tomatoes are mandatory. They’re bright, they’re tasty, they cut through all the rich stuff, and they look fantastic. I don’t care if you’re tired of seeing them at every party. They’re there for a reason.

Cucumber rounds give you that satisfying crunch. Carrot and celery sticks are perfect for the health-conscious crowd (and for giving yourself permission to eat more cheese). Fresh grapes are nature’s perfect party food. No mess, no fuss, just grab and go.

If you can get your hands on fresh figs, do it. They’re fancy without being pretentious, and they pair beautifully with pretty much any cheese you throw at them. Same goes for strawberries, especially in summer when they’re actually sweet and not those watery supermarket disappointments.

Dips and Spreads That Earn Their Keep

You can’t have a proper platter without a few strategically placed dips. And by strategically placed, I mean don’t just dump them all in one corner like some kind of dip ghetto.

Hummus is a given. Get the good stuff though, not that weird fluorescent garbage that tastes like chickpea-flavoured sadness. Tzatziki’s brilliant, especially if you’ve got some Greek heritage to channel (or even if you don’t). Pesto adds that herby punch that makes everything taste more alive.

Here’s where you can get creative: a good caramelised onion jam or chutney absolutely sings with cheese. It’s sweet, it’s savoury, it’s everything you didn’t know you needed. And if you want something with a bit of kick, a decent salsa or a spicy capsicum dip keeps things interesting.

The Supporting Cast

These are the bits and pieces that round everything out and stop your platter from being one-dimensional.

Nuts are essential. Almonds, cashews, pistachios. Whatever floats your boat. The roasted and salted ones are great, but if you can find some with interesting spices, even better. They add crunch, they’re substantial, and they give people something to fiddle with while they’re chatting.

Olives belong on every platter, full stop. Green ones, black ones, marinated ones with garlic and herbs. They’re salty, they’re briny, they’re perfect. If someone at your party doesn’t like olives, that’s fine. More for everyone else.

Pickled things are underrated. Cornichons, pickled onions, those little pickled capsicums from the deli. They cut through the richness and give your palate a reset between nibbles. Plus they look good, which counts for something.

A Touch of Sweet

Don’t go overboard here, but a few sweet elements can really elevate things. Dark chocolate is your friend. So are chocolate-covered nuts if you’re feeling indulgent.

Dried apricots, dates, and figs work beautifully, especially with cheese. And if you want to blow minds, drizzle some honey over your brie or next to your blue cheese. Trust me on this one. It’s one of those combinations that sounds weird until you try it, and then you can’t stop.

Making It Look Good

Right, you’ve got all your ingredients. Now comes the fun part: actually putting it all together without it looking like a drunk person arranged it in the dark.

Start with your big items first. Cheese wedges, bowls of dips, piles of crackers. These are your anchors. They create structure and stop everything from sliding around like a food avalanche.

Then fill in the gaps with smaller stuff. Don’t just lay your salami flat like you’re tiling a bathroom. Fold it, roll it, make it interesting. Create little mountains of nuts. Scatter your olives like you meant to put them exactly there.

The goal is organised chaos. You want it to look abundant and inviting without looking like you just tipped a shopping bag onto a board. Leave some space between different elements. Let things breathe. Your platter isn’t a game of Tetris.

How Much Is Enough?

Nobody wants to be that person who runs out of food halfway through a party. It’s awkward, it’s embarrassing, and it makes you look like you’ve never hosted before.

For cheese, you’re looking at about 100 to 150 grams per person if the platter’s the main event. If it’s just pre-dinner snacks, 50 to 80 grams will do. Crackers work out to about 5 to 7 per person. Dips are roughly 50 grams per head.

But here’s the thing: these are guidelines, not laws. If you’re feeding a bunch of blokes who’ve been at the pub all afternoon, double it. If it’s a fancy afternoon tea with your partner’s work colleagues, you can probably dial it back a bit.

Looking After Different Diets

Look, unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know people have dietary requirements these days. And honestly, it’s not that hard to accommodate them without making it weird.

Chuck some gluten-free crackers on there. Make sure you’ve got vegan options like hummus and vegetable sticks. Keep things separate where you can so people aren’t worried about cross-contamination.

The beauty of a good platter is that it naturally works for different diets anyway. There’s something for everyone without having to make a big song and dance about it.

Timing This Thing Right

Don’t be a hero and try to do everything at the last minute. You’ll stress yourself out and your platter will look like it.

Cheese needs to come out of the fridge an hour before serving. That’s not optional. Prepare your vegetables in the morning and keep them crisp in the fridge. Crackers can go out early because they’re not going anywhere.

Save the delicate stuff like herbs and berries until just before people arrive. Nothing looks sadder than wilted herbs on a platter that’s been sitting out for three hours.

Keeping Costs Reasonable

Let’s be real: you can spend an absolute fortune on platter ingredients if you’re not careful. Those fancy cheese shops will take your money faster than you can say “aged manchego.”

Shop smart. Hit up the markets for fresh produce. Buy blocks of cheese and cut them yourself instead of paying extra for pre-sliced stuff. Make your own dips, which is ridiculously easy and saves you a packet.

Spend your money where it counts. Maybe splash out on one really good cheese or some quality prosciutto, then pad things out with more affordable bits. Nobody’s going to judge you for using supermarket crackers if everything else looks and tastes good.

Working with the Seasons

Summer platters should be light and fresh. Load up on cherry tomatoes, cucumber, watermelon, berries, and lighter cheeses like feta and bocconcini. Nobody wants a massive wedge of aged cheddar when it’s 35 degrees outside.

Winter’s when you can go harder. Bring out the aged cheddars, the blue cheese, the dried fruits, the roasted nuts. Maybe even throw in some warm elements like baked brie if you’re feeling ambitious.

Shopping seasonally means better flavour and better prices. Win-win.

What to Drink With It

A platter without drinks is just a sad collection of food. Wine’s the obvious choice, and I’m not going to pretend I’m some kind of sommelier here. White wine with lighter stuff, red with heavier stuff. You can’t go too wrong.

Beer works brilliantly too, especially with the craft beer scene we’ve got going in Australia these days. And don’t forget about the non-drinkers. Decent mocktails or sparkling water with lime keeps everyone happy.

Don’t Make These Mistakes

I’ve seen people make the same errors over and over, so learn from their pain.

Don’t make everything the same size. Variety in shapes and sizes makes your platter more interesting to look at. Don’t forget utensils. Nobody wants to manhandle your brie with their bare hands. Don’t put stinky cheese right next to delicate stuff because it’ll overpower everything.

And for the love of all that’s holy, don’t over-garnish. A few herbs strategically placed looks elegant. A forest of parsley looks like you’re compensating for something.

Getting Organised

Do yourself a favour and get organised before the day of the party. Make your dips the night before. Wash and prep your vegetables. Check you’ve actually got enough plates and utensils.

On the day, pull cheese out an hour before. Arrange your platter 30 minutes before guests arrive. Keep backup supplies in the fridge for when the vultures descend and you need to top things up.

Taking It Up a Notch

Once you’ve nailed the basics, there’s heaps of ways to make your platter stand out. Edible flowers look impressive without being too try-hard. Unusual cheeses become conversation starters. Homemade crackers tell people you actually give a damn.

Consider adding something warm, like baked camembert with honey and nuts. It’s not traditional, but it works, and people remember it.

Where to Get the Good Stuff

Look, you can build a decent platter with supermarket ingredients, but if you really want to impress, you need quality gear. That’s where somewhere like Chews It comes in handy. They’ve got a ripper selection of Australian products that’ll make your platter sing. Artisanal crackers, gourmet dips, quality nibbles that actually taste like something.

The difference between bog-standard ingredients and the good stuff is noticeable. Your guests might not be able to put their finger on exactly why your platter’s better, but they’ll know it is.

The Bottom Line

Building a great snack platter isn’t complicated, but it does require a bit of thought and effort. Start with good ingredients, arrange them with some care, and don’t stress about perfection.

The best platters I’ve seen have had that slightly rustic, abundant vibe that makes people feel comfortable diving in. They’re not museum pieces; they’re meant to be eaten.

Practice makes perfect, and fortunately, practising involves eating good food with people you actually like. You could do a lot worse with your time.

So grab a board, hit the shops, and give it a crack. Your mates will thank you for it, and you might even enjoy the process. And if anyone complains about your platter, well, they can bring their own next time.